My name is Jada, but ever since I can recall I've been called just Jade, needless to say, it stuck. I have a problem. I've seriously considered professional help but I have never gotten any and I'm not sure I ever will. I just can't see me dedicating hours a week to a 12-step program for sex addicts. I would undoubtedly end up spending even more time on my back...or knees.
Presently, I'm happily married to a wonderful man who loves me. We've been together for 15 years. I have 5 delightful children, ages 13, 8 (triplets), and 3. I'm not sure all 3 of the middle children are my husband's. The girl... she looks NOTHING like him or me, but that's another story altogether. We live in a nice suburban neighborhood in LaVergne, TN. I live the life that most women could only dream. I work as a part-time paralegal, but I don't do it to pay the bills, I do it because I get terribly, terribly bored with being a housewife and because staying busy keeps me out of trouble...most of the time.
As I said earlier, I have a problem. My problem is sex. I'm always hungry for it. My husband and I have a decent enough sex life, but not frequent enough. He needs sex about once a week. Me, I want it everyday all day. And when I'm not working or caring for my family I'm usually having sex and in those few moments when I'm not screwing, working or caring for the people I love, I'm writing, dreaming, thinking and scheming on sex. I don't mean to be this way, but I simply cannot help myself.
There is but one person who knows of my problem and my secrets, my best friend. We'll call her "R". R gets me because she too has a problem. She simply has more control than I have. She doesn't often act on her desires, but the haunt her all the same. R knows that I'm a good person. A loving mother. A devoted wife. A believer in family and community. My heart is golden. But my heart is not the problem. The problem is my forever hungry, never satisfied love zone. My snatch. It drives me to do previously unspeakable things. Well, unspeakable to anyone but R; and now, I'm going to tell you. I intend to journal my sex-capades to you in story form (though I will occasionally take a stab at poetry) as well as share my frequent trips down Erotic Memory Lane. Perhaps a bit of slut-shaming will be what I need to get me act together. I don't know, but we shall see.
Ravenously yours,
Journaling Jade
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